Recognize and Rejoice with Natalie Johnson

Natalie lives life in joy.  Let her lighten your day as she laughs her way through the experiences that shaped her life and faith.  Good friends, tough and fun mission experiences, a tithing car, the guidance of her patriarchal blessing, work and more all brought her to a better understanding of what it truly means to trust in the Lord.  

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello everyone. Welcome to Recognize and Rejoice with Megan and Kaylyn, where we rejoice together as we recognize the hand of the Lord in each of our lives. We would like to recognize and thank our sponsor, Coach Katie Swim School, which helps keep our episodes available indefinitely. This is Megan with Recognize and Rejoice, and I am so excited to have Natalie Johnson with us today. You will notice that Kaylyn is not with us at this time. Like I said last week, we've had some changes come up in our lives, all good changes, but it makes it so that we can't do the podcast like we have in the past. So Kaylyn is taking a step back until she could come back on. And hopefully I will have her as a guest host here and there. With that said, if any of you listeners would like to be a guest co-host, please text me on the link of the podcast. It says text us. If you would like to be a co-host or a guest on Recognize and Rejoice, we would love to have you and get you on the list and get you scheduled. Just let us know. Text us with your name and your number, and we will get a hold of you. So without further ado, I am so excited to introduce Natalie. Natalie and I met when our wards got put together. So the dreaded shifting of the ward boundaries occurred. And her little section of her ward came into my ward. So it was her ward that got split the worst. And um, I'm so always so sad for the change that a ward boundary change happens, but I'm so grateful for the many opportunities that it gives us as well. And this was one of those opportunities. I first met Natalie when she was like, I need a running buddy. And she put it on this group me, or I don't know. And I was like, Well, I would like to exercise. And so we started that way. And then I was like, I actually really don't like running. And then she said, Well, I I have a past device. And I was like, Well, then let's go there. And so we started going to the gym there. And it's just been such a wonderful experience getting to know Natalie. And I don't want to tell any of her stories. I want her to tell her stories, but the stories that she has shared with me are just so uplifting and so powerful and have really influenced my life. And so I'm excited for you guys to hear what Natalie has to say. So she's going to start us off by telling us her stage of life and what things she likes to do. And then when she decided to follow Jesus Christ, and then she'll go right into her story. So take it away, Natalie.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

No, thank you. So it's funny that you mentioned the word split because that's when I met you. But I met your daughter before that because I was coaching soccer, and she and my son were on the same team, and they were like four or five years old. Like they were still pretty young. So yeah, I didn't meet you, but I I knew I knew your daughter, and she's fantastic, and we share a name, which makes it even it does make it special.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

I was gonna say that and then I didn't, but I was like, yes, another relationship is that Natalie has the same name as my daughter. So we're like totally bonded.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

I love it. I love it, I love it. And also it's fun too because I full disclosure, I don't run anymore either. So, and I was a big time runner for years. I would go, you know, I've got Ragnar's and half marathons, and and I've just kind of gotten away from it. Um, so I have you to think for that actually, too, because it's easier on my knees.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

I was gonna say, I don't know if that's a you're welcome or an I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

It's a little of both. I I'm sure I could run if I still really wanted to, but there's there's time and place for everything, as we will discuss, I'm sure. But yeah, so phase of life. I am at a weird phase where I have two adult children, and then I have a son that's the same age as your daughter, who's only he will be 11. Um, and so we're definitely kind of it's like having two families. You have like your adult older kids, and then you have the little caboose who is keeping me young, is how I'm going to choose to look at it. Amen. I totally agree. It's fun. And a lot of my friends are getting on, you know, they're staring down the empty nest or looking forward to grandkids, which I am too. But as far as uh empty nest goes, we've got a while, and I'm absolutely okay with that. It's been really fun. As you know, I I work full-time. I have a lot of history background with tech and been very interesting watching how tech has evolved over the last couple of decades and the things that are changing very rapidly right now, which I could say was is trying my faith in other ways, perhaps, but but all good things. Um I don't know. I just really appreciate you having me on. This is this is gonna be really fun and that you thought of me. I'm honored to be here. I'm sad Caitlin couldn't join, but that's okay. We'll give her a shout out.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Yes. Always.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Um, okay, so remind me your first question. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

So your stage of life, which you've just stated, and then when you decide to follow Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Okay, so I don't know that I really had like a moment where I decided to follow Jesus Christ. Um, I think for me, it was organic, but it happened over time. And I I will give a lot of credit to the friends I had. One of the biggest lessons I've learned, and the things I try and warn slash teach my children, is that your friends become more important than your parents at a certain age, which we all know, right? Parents have a lot of influence, but once you get to be a teenager and an adult and and you kind of move past that, your parents sort of take a step back. And your friends, especially in that pivotal, you know, junior high, high school phase, they become kind of your whole world. And I'm grateful I had some really good friends who I think had a lot stronger faith and were further down the path, if you will, than I was. And I remember thinking a couple times, like, oh, like they've read the Book of Mormon like a bunch, and I've never read it all the way through. Like I've read it with my family, or I read it in seminary, but I had never like read it on my own, cover to cover. That seemed like a weird thing to do. And so I remember kind of thinking, well, I can't see, I'm very competitive, right? And so I remember thinking I can't be the only one in my friend group that's never read it. So I, you know, my motives, whatever gets you there. You know, they may not be the most pure, but but I did read it for the first time. I was probably around 14, 15, I want to say that age. And I think at that point, I wouldn't, I can't even say like I had some profound experience or I followed Moroni's promise or anything really that pivotal. It was just like, oh, I already know this. Like this is this is cool. And I had a very good positive experience growing up with my family in the scriptures. Um, my parents are amazing. And so they kind of instilled that with me. And between that and the friendships and just my own experience, I felt I felt very naturally drawn to the savior. And it just continued as I got older. And then it set me up in a place where I've had some pretty heavy things happen and difficult challenges in my life where I am so grateful I've had that. I know, and I have actually a lot of sympathy for people who have struggled with their faith or who have these faith crises or or journeys or whatever that are are a lot harder. I did not experience that. Knock on wood, I know it can happen anytime. It's like, as you know, going to the gym, it's like a muscle. When you don't go for a few months, things start to feel really hard.

unknown 8:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

But if you, you know, continue on that that spiritual path. And that's that's what I think I tried to do at a pretty young age. Did I do it perfectly? No. Have I fallen away and had to repent and change constantly? So sometimes in in very dramatic ways, sometimes in little ways, but it has absolutely been something that at this point I I would never even consider letting go because I've seen how much it shaped my life. Um, so that kind of transitions to to the next part. I've had a few different experiences, and some of these you've I've shared with you, Megan, so you'll you'll sound familiar. But um, I would say for me, the most recent experiences have been very much involving my career path. I had a plan. I'm one of those people, I had a plan. I was going to, this was like my high school plan. Like I was going to be a park ranger, and I was going to teach English at a like a high school or a junior high or something like that. Like that's what I was gonna do. And I graduated high school and I started college, and I got a job with the Park Service, which was my dream. And it was really fun. And I worked there for actually I worked at Timpanogas Cave National Monument, if anyone is familiar with it. Um, and I started there, worked for a summer. So I was a seasonal employee. I would work from April till October. And I did that for a summer, and then I decided well, a lot of things happened, but I basically felt that I needed to serve a mission. And keep in mind, this is in the 90s. Missionaries, sister missionaries weren't as common or as encouraged or as celebrated as they are now. It wasn't a bad thing, but I did get some interesting pushback from people. Why would you want to do that? You're a sister, you don't need to go. And these were from people who had been on missions, mostly elders. Um, so it was a little interesting. Um, but I felt, I felt very strongly that was what I needed to do. There was no question. So people could say whatever they wanted. I was going. And so I did. I turned in my mission papers and I got my mission call to San Antonio, Texas. Shout out to Texans everywhere. Um, it was wonderful. It was Spanish speaking, it was really fun. And I got out there and I was like, what have I done? And I know everybody feels that, but I really felt it. I was just like, I know I was supposed to do this, but it's really hard. And never considered going home, but I really considered just phoning it in for a while because it was pretty tough as far as the language and Spanish. I mean, people learn that like in an hour. And it took me a year. It I just am not a natural language learner. And I really got pretty good at like faking it until it finally got a lot easier to where I could communicate. But I like to talk to people and not being able to speak a language and express myself and share my faith and share my sense of humor and all those things that I my personality wanted to do was very humbling. And it does get to a point where you really question, like, do I, do I really believe what I'm doing? And the answer for me was yes, but did I believe that I was supposed to be there, that I had heard this, you know, the spirit correctly, that I hadn't just let my emotions get away with me, you know, or or whatever. Um so that was that was a real interesting turning point. As I'm I know it is for a lot of people. Missions are amazing and they can they can change your whole perspective and outlook and and humble you like nothing else. So I got to a point there that was very interesting because there were a lot of opportunities to humble myself, to turn to the Lord, and He did help me. And it's not again, it's never been just one absolute moment, but I caught I came home from my mission and I left kind of just with a very open mind of like, you know, I'm gonna come home and then I will go back to school and I'll get my, you know, I did want to get a degree, but I really wanted to, you know, stick with the the park service because I love the outdoors, I love everything about national parks and and history and you know, beauty and nature and everything. And I got home and got married and started back in school and I was working on an English degree. I mean, everything was right. I was working at the uh Timpanova's cave again, and I got my you know to a point where things just weren't quite working. I don't know how, you know, we all get there, right? You're just like, I don't think I can keep doing this. Like, we're not in a position financially where we can, this is sustainable. And I had a couple of kids at this point. So I was working there. I was there for over 10 different summers and not all consecutive because of the mission. So so I was definitely giving it a good go. And I remember kind of getting to the point where I thought I need to go back to school and I need to do something else. And I went and spoke to um an advisor at the university and found out that I only needed about 12 more credits and I could get a tech writing degree. And I just was like, you know what? I can do that. I could do 12 credits. Um, keep in mind I was probably on my second kid at this point, and I'm trying to figure out how we're gonna pay for it, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna work in the classes because there were certain classes I needed and they weren't at convenient times because why would they be? But I ended up going back and just doing a class here, class there. It took me another probably year and a half to finish that up. By this point, I'd had my second kid. I was finishing up, you know, the degree and I was in class. And I remember very distinctly thinking, like, okay, now I have this, what am I gonna do? Am I gonna work at the cave again next summer? I got this feeling like whenever I thought about turning in my returning paperwork because you fill out for the season or whatever and you send it back. I just kind of felt like not depressed, but just like meh. Does that make sense? Yes, yes, very much. Right. Is that that just like this isn't probably gonna work, but I don't have any other plans. We were at church one Sunday, if I remember this right, it's been a while. So there was a gentleman who lived in our ward at the time who worked at this little company that had been around for a little while, but it was still kind of in a startup mode. And he approached, I think he talked to my husband first, basically said, Hey, I'm looking to hire a tech writer. I know Natalie's in school. How close is she to being done? And I, yeah, my husband's like, well, she'll be done this semester, actually. So, and I had a thought when David told me, so again, I haven't even talked to this guy, but my husband, whose name is David, he told me what had happened at church. And I just had this feeling like I'm gonna get that job. And of course, I immediately I'm like, whatever, I don't have any experience. I don't even know what the job is. I don't even know this company, I've known nothing. But because I like to think that I try to follow promptings, even if I didn't recognize it as such at the time, I went ahead and applied. I did get that job, and it was so funny because I had to leave during the training to go take my final. Like I still was not actually done with school. But I finished up, got the got the rest of it, and and I worked for that company for almost 10 years. And then I've pivoted a couple of times with different software tech companies, and it's been it's been delightful. It's been really fun. I've been able to kind of use my creativity and focus, you know, on still teaching, still training, still guiding, just in a completely different way than what I expected. And I still love to go visit national parks and maybe someday I'll volunteer or do something with that again. But but that is very much a moment where the Lord kind of took me by the hand and put the path in front of me. And it was very clear like this is the direction you need to go to take care of your family, to, you know, support my husband and and raise kids and have a full-time job, which I know is sometimes really hard. Um, and a lot of women are lucky enough not to have to do that. I feel like I'm lucky enough to have had to do that, but in a way that has been something I enjoy and has some flexibility and you know, allowed me to raise my kids and and continues to. Now I work from home. Company I work for is based in Ireland, so occasionally I get to go out there and visit my Irish roots, and it's very, very fun. And people are lovely, and I just am so, so blessed with that. So that's a big one. Like the Lord, again, looking back in the moment, you don't always see it. I was just like, oh, I gotta, I gotta go finish school. But turns out I don't need to take two more years or go get a master's degree. I just need 12 credits, you know? And I had no way to know that. But and then suddenly my neighbor needs a tech writer at their company, and they hired me, even though they probably had no business hiring me. I had no idea what I was doing. It's another story. But yeah, it's it's been interesting. And being in the tech world can be a lot of learning and a lot of problem solving and a lot of ups and downs and and a lot of humility. Again, with the humility, it's always there.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

And I love how you have totally glossed over like your whole life. There's so much that goes into these stories. Holy cow! The way that you and Dave got together, that story is just phenomenal. And then your tithing car that you've had. If you want to go back to your mission, can you elaborate on when you were like, no, this is where I'm supposed to be. I know it is. And maybe it was multiple experiences. It's not just one big experience, but if you could share one of those multiple experiences where you're like, no, I am supposed to be here, and God is showing this to me.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

Okay. So my first area was in a little town called Del Rio, right on the border of Mexico. It's a little remote. If you any of you have ever been there or heard about it, it's very economically challenged, put it that way. There is some, there's an Air Force base, and so a lot of people are employed there, but it's also a lot of people who at that time, again, I don't know how it is now. It's probably crazy now, but the cartels were still getting a foothold, we're definitely there. On the US side of the border, I remember my companion who was amazing. Oh my gosh, I adore her. She really pushed me hard. She was awesome. She was from Mexico City, but lived in Idaho and just had like this fiery passion for the gospel and for people, and taught me everything. And then she got transferred and I was still there. And I remember just feeling so overwhelmed because we had been teaching these people. And keep in mind, I don't speak Spanish. And the mission present sent me another amazing companion. I was very blessed with companions. I know that sounds super pretentious, but I loved all my companions. They were all awesome. So, but this sister had been in a lot of English areas and hadn't spoken Spanish as much. So I would say our Spanish skills were comparable. Um, if not, I had a little advantage even just because I had been there. We were teaching a young man who wanted to get baptized. He was all in, but he was not 18 yet. Um, the missionaries had been working with him for a while. And he really wanted us to kind of win his mom over. And my former companion, my trainer, who spoke perfect Spanish and grew up in Mexico and had everything in common with these people, was gone. And we had to go over and teach and and kind of try to continue to help this uh young man's mom so she would kind of like us, I guess. So her son could continue going to church and and progressing in the gospel. And I was a wreck when I found out my companion didn't speak Spanish. I didn't speak Spanish. We're on the border of Mexico where everybody speaks Spanish, and this particular woman only spoke Spanish. And so I remember we had an appointment set up and she had agreed to let us come over and actually teach her. And her son had kind of talked her into it. I knew I'd have to lead on this. Like I knew my companion couldn't do it. She didn't have any relationship with this family. And I was so stressed. And I I have never been that anxious about anything before. And I've I you know taken a lot of tests, I've done a lot of, you know, different things, but was very, very, very nervous. Obviously, I was praying a lot, and as the day came. Closer and closer, I just started fasting. And I had never fasted more than like two meals, you know? And half of the time I was like drinking water in between secretly, so nobody would know or whatever, right? But this didn't even, I wasn't even hungry. I'm gonna be honest. I was so anxious. You know, when you get so nervous, like you lose every appetite and everything. I fasted for two days. And I was like, I can't do this. I need to do this, but I can't do this. You've got to help me, Lord. Like, there's no way I can do this. The morning came and we went over to the house, and I'm I was shaking. And my companion was nervous too, but she didn't, she didn't know this woman had been kind of hostile and sort of like she didn't know the history. I did. And I knew I'm like, this this could make or break whether or not we continue to have her son come to church or be involved with the youth or whatever we were kind of focused on. And I remember we knocked on the door and she came to the door holding a book of Mormon and smiling. She'd never smiled at me ever. In fact, she told me I was fat because I was gaining weight, which is true, but that's what happens when you serve in Mexican areas. They just feed you. And I didn't put on weight since I've been there. Anyway, not that's another story. But she um opened the door and we went in and we sat down and and I used like the five words that I knew to greet her. And we just kind of sat down and I remember she just kind of looked at like, okay, teach me. Like, what do you got? And Megan, I don't know what I said. I have no idea exactly how we got where we got. What I do remember is I asked her, because I knew a few phrases, I asked her how she felt the spirit. And she just looked at me like, what are you talking about? And so I started just because she had a Book of Mormon, I started just opening up to pages and sections that talked about what this, you know, people who felt the spirit and when they felt it and what it felt like. And I asked her how she felt about her family. And I didn't know this, but she had a son who was serving in the military and had been deployed. And again, Megan, I don't know how I even understood anything she was saying, but I did. Maybe it was just like my heart went out to her. I understood like enough of the three or four words that I could to follow. But I remember she she started talking about her son that was serving in the military, and she got really emotional. And I said, What are you feeling right now? And she's like, Love for my son. And I said, That's how God feels about us. And that's how the spirit helps us know that he loves us. And what you're feeling right now is God's love for you, as well as how you feel about your son. And I I kind of just tied it all in. And as we spoke, the room was quiet and my anxiety was gone. I knew that we were doing exactly what we needed to be there for. And we left and I remember breathing like in the car, like just, ooh, okay, that's done. We never have to do that again. You know, like I threw it all out there, left on the court, whatever, you know, phraseology you want to use. And we went on about our day. And that Sunday, her son came up to us. He's like, Sisters, I don't know what you said to my mom, but thank you. After that, I mean, eventually I did get transferred out. I don't know how that continued, but I do know that young men eventually did get baptized. He was able to affect he served a mission, went to BYU, like all the things. And I didn't, I didn't teach him I wasn't there doing that. All I did was try to pave the way a little bit for him. But what it really did is it taught me that I can do something, one, that I never thought I could do, two, that the Lord had my back when it really mattered, and sometimes when it doesn't, but when it really mattered, he let me stew about it, he let me be anxious about it, he let me kind of get to that point where I was desperate for whatever bone he would throw me. But he didn't throw me a bone, he took over when I walked. When we went in that room, the spirit took over. And it was it was a life-changing moment for me. I'll never forget that. And like you said, yes, there are a million different things, but that's when I think I realized like I can do this, it's hard. I still, you know, even to this day, I've forgotten so much. Like if you tried to have me have a conversation in Spanish, I would fumble it up pretty bad. But I left there with a confidence that there is a reason, I'm here, and I need to follow that through. And after that, I was like, it was still hard, but it was so much more fun. Like, missions are really fun. If you in fact, I tell people that's one of my biggest advice. If you're a missionary going out or you're out there now or whatever, it's okay to have fun. And the gospel is fun and teaching is fun, and also sometimes it's not, and that's okay too. But but I really caught that that excitement of like, this is pretty cool. I'm glad I did this. So after that, thought of going home never really was gonna come again. And I'm grateful. Missions, it is the hardest, best thing ever. And I know everybody says that, and everybody is right, and it's different for everyone, but I would I would definitely recommend it if that's something you're inclined to do.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Great story. And what you're saying, I feel like that sums up your life. You find joy in everyone, in every situation. Like you just bring joy. It's like I want to be near you because you're joyful. And the second thing is the stories that you've told me is always about God has your back. And story after story after story, you're like, yeah, God had my back here and here and here. Tell the tithing story.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

The tithing story is funny because I've always paid tithing kind of because my mom made me, or because I felt guilty if I didn't, or but then sometimes I wouldn't because you know, I would get busy and I was a teenager, whatever. After my husband and I got married, first of all, we were dirt poor. You know, we had no business getting married financially at that time. I was I'd been home for my mission uh a whole four months, and he'd been home about a year, and we got married, and his father, my father-in-law, his dad gave us a an older car that David had kind of driven after his mission. And and he's like, here you go. It was a Pontiac something, I don't know. But it was pretty like on its last leg. And the idea was like, you guys can have this, drive it for six months or a year, save up some money. Hopefully, you can get yourself another car. So we would, you know, take turns driving it to the bus stop, and then we take the bus to school. I mean, we were walking anywhere we could walk without having to drive the car. We did. We could not afford another car. We didn't have any credit history. So, like, we couldn't buy a car without a co-signer. And I remember my husband and I were talking, and we said, you know, if we could just get this car to last until he graduated, he's the teacher. He was finishing up his degree, but he still had like a year and a half. But I was like, is this would be so great. If this car could last until we, you know, graduate or until you're done, that would be amazing. And long story short, that car died the day after my husband graduated from college. And I was like, okay, well, maybe it could have lasted like another month or two after we graduate until he found a job. Like, be very specific about your prayers because sometimes the Lord will answer them exactly the way you want. And then you're like, wait, but that thing, like, we drove it and we graduated and we drove it home. And the next morning he went out and it would not start. And like the engine block was cracked. That thing was done. And it had lasted almost two years at that point. Both of us had this feeling that it was because we paid our tithing, which is interesting. When my husband and I have a revelation at the same moment, which does not happen very often, right? Like that's just not normal for us. Maybe it is for other couples, but I can count on my hand the amount of times we have felt something at the same time. And that that was probably the first one where we both looked at each other and we're like, we will always pay tithings. Like that was why it wasn't because we prayed and asked the Lord to make it last two years. It was just kind of like, you know, it'd be nice if this did, but we know it won't. But we're gonna pay our tithing, even though we make like no money and we're living on charity from our parents who would feed us on Sundays and hasn't send us home with leftovers and whatever student grant money we could scrounge up, or you know, if there's any side gigs until we were able to actually graduate college. And I don't know how to explain it, other than I just know that we paid our tithing, we did our best, and the Lord blessed us, and that car lasted and then it died. At that point, we were like, okay, let's get a new car, I guess. And I was so grateful. I was grateful that we were gifted it, and I was grateful that we were able to have that faith-building experience, even though it was just a stupid car.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

When we talked about it, I remember you were going through a job change. We were going through a job change, and it was just like finances are tight, but you always pay your tithing. And you told this story. And I was like, Yes, yes. So we always pay our tithing because we don't know what blessings the Lord is giving us sometimes. Um, even though we may be financially strapped and we're like, oh my gosh, we don't have any money. But Heavenly Father is blessing us in other ways. And in that way, it was obvious it was a car, but sometimes we're not always aware of the blessings we're receiving because of tithing.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

So you made me think of another experience. Um, and I don't remember what year it was. So anybody listening can Google this. It's like a simple search. But there was when President Hinckley was still the prophet, and my husband and I were still newlywed within a year or two. President Hinckley, maybe you'll recall this. He uh gave a challenge in it would have been like the October conference to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, which is like what three months, right? Which I mean, I've done that, that's fine. But my husband and I decided to read it together. And that took a little more discipline. And we would read a column each. We had this whole system, but we decided to do it. We're like, hey, the prophets said this is a specific thing. We can do this, it's fine. It wasn't always easy, and there were a few nights we missed, but we had it kind of figured out how many pages and and whatnot we had to finish by the end of the year. And we ended up finishing it up um like that week between Christmas and and New Year's at the end of that year, and didn't think much of it. We're just like, yay, for us, we did it, and that was it. But several months went by, and my husband said something one time. He's like, you know what? I've realized we haven't argued or fought or had like any when you're a newlywed, like you you sometimes butt hits. Maybe, again, maybe you don't, but like we're trying to figure this out, and we're young and marriage can be tricky. And he just was kind of like, yeah, we haven't. This was like three or four months later. I mean, time had gone by. And again, we both kind of just had this thought of like, it's because we did what the prophet said. Again, a very specific thought. That's how the spirit talks to me. They're just like little thoughts, they're not these like, I don't get burning bosoms and lights and pillars and anything like that. That doesn't happen to me. I just get like like a little thought, but I can feel the thought. I'm like, that's not my thought. I would never think that. The fact that my husband, again, kind of had that same thought. We were like, you know what? You're right. Like we read the Book of Mormon together, we followed the prophet. It was a simple ask. I mean, not always, but like pretty simple ask. But we both knew that it just brought a different spirit into our marriage that hadn't been there before. Again, sometimes it's just the most unassuming things. Like, I think we expect the Lord's gonna manifest in our lives in some brilliant way that's gonna shatter our world and completely make us into a powerhouse spiritual being. And maybe that works for some people. I don't know. Obviously, Joseph Smith had that. Moses had that. Like, there are people that have that. I am not that way. And I'm okay with that because what I do is it's I'm more of a the line upon line person. Here a little, there a little, whatever you want to call it. But those little experiences add up. And eventually I can look back and I can be like, yes, this was definitely the Lord's hand. This was definitely meant to be this really hard thing we went through. You mentioned some financial transitions. I was laid off twice in a year recently. It's been uh about two years ago almost now. So yeah, major upheaval in our lives, not having a job for several months. And then again, it's for several more months after that, and very unexpected. And I remember feeling very like I don't know what to do. In fact, that was kind of my prayer for most days. I'd wake up in the morning and I'd say my prayer, and that was Heavenly Father, I don't know what to do. I need help. I don't know what to do. Like I'm doing everything I know how, I'm applying to jobs, I'm talking to people. I'm also wasn't paying a whole lot of tithing because I wasn't didn't have a job, but I was donating plasma. I, you know, picking up whatever little odd jobs plus whatever unemployment was quickly running out that I still had. So I was paying a little tithing. That's always with the tithing. Going to the temple, like trying to fill my days with things that I could keep busy. And I have anxiety anyway, but like it's on steroids when there's something like that, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I remember that was kind of it'd been almost four and a half months since I had been laid off with no prospects. And we all know right now job hunting is just the worst. And one morning I woke up and I had a text from a gentleman I used to work with at two jobs ago. He had been the CEO for my company. And he was transitioning to another role at another company where he was going to be the CEO. And he's like, Hey, I have a job for you if you're available. It's like, I was available like yesterday. Yes. What is this job used to be cut? You know? But I mean, it was just so funny. I had been applying, I had even been interviewing, I had been doing temp work. I mean, I was just doing everything I could just to try and keep my morale up and also obviously keep some money coming in. And I had the thought at that point, and I've shared this with you in the past too, is sometimes after all you can do, right? Like I was doing everything I could do. I felt like nothing was working. And then out of the blue, this job just happened to show up. And this is the Irish job that I have now that I love. Oh my goodness. It's easy to look back and be like, that wasn't a miracle. But at the time, Megan, I didn't know what to do. I was like, I'm gonna have to go back to school, or I'm gonna have to like start digging holes and fences for people. I don't know. Like post holes, is that what they do? I don't even know. I don't even know. I have no other skills. Like, don't even know. That was humbling.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

Everyone with this Irish job, she is wearing a green shirt right now.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

I am to be fair, I do wear a lot of green shirt anyway, but solidarity to all my my Irish folks. My gosh, I love it so much. But and I I didn't have to apply. I they barely, I think at one point asked for my resume, you know, but he set me up with the the CTO. I talked to him and it was like, yeah, when can you start? I mean, it was so smooth and so this is what I've learned. Here's the other thing I've kind of learned over the years is when the Lord puts his hand to something, the pathway gets paved really quick. Things that seemed insurmountable or really hard or impossible suddenly become very easy and very clear. And it doesn't happen all the time, but on the big things, it's amazing how quickly all the things that were in your way suddenly fall into place. And you can look at that and be like, I did not do that. That was not me. There's no way I could have known that this company in Ireland needed a tech writer with my experience and background in project management was the exact thing thing that I had been doing 10 years prior, you know. I mean, it was just such a smooth transition and such a perfect fit. So that was very, like I said, very humbling, but also I could see how the Lord had prepared this path. And the companies that I had been laid off from weren't where I was supposed to be at that time anymore. And as hard as that was to be let go and to have that uncertainty, and and it will probably happen again at some point. I hope not soon. I hope not ever, but but the reality is things are unpredictable, and and I have realized more and more that like life is supposed to be hard. We signed up for that. Although I kind of wonder if we really did. I don't know. Like I signed up for for something, I don't know what I signed up for exactly, but but either way, we're here now, and the Lord wants us to struggle, so we turn to him, so we rely on him. So we do have that desire. And I know it's not that simple for everybody, but for me, it has been like that's where I have to go because I don't control anything anymore. You know, I like to think I can, but but I know deep down, like so much of my life has been molded by yes, decisions and choices I make, but also by the Lord's hand and letting God prevail in my life whenever I can.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

And it also makes me wonder when I get nervous and anxious and I'm trying to make something happen and crazy with ideas. And if we just sat on our haunches and did nothing and we're like, well, you're gonna provide for me, so I'm not gonna do anything. Right. I don't think that that's gonna happen. But do I need to be I need to do the work? Like you needed to apply for all those jobs, you needed to do the work you were doing, but do I need to feel as stressed as I feel when I'm doing it?

SPEAKER_00 40:45

Because that's yes. That's the case.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

I I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm I want to support our family financially more, like I want to to do that. And um how do I best do that? And I've I've taken avenues, right? To try and and do this of my own accord of like I'm trying. Yeah. Um, but then the Lord just totally opened up this awesome opportunity that I'm in right now, and I am just in love with what I'm doing. Like I couldn't be happier, but it's gonna end because it's it's with a school, and then we're we're hopefully moving.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

Which will be a better adventure and blessing, and and things will help enough that you don't expect. I yeah, for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 41:29

As you were talking, I was like, okay, so what does waiting on the Lord supposed to look like? I've heard a lot of people talk about waiting on the Lord, and waiting on the Lord doesn't mean we don't do anything. We're doing things, but do I need to be as stressed?

SPEAKER_00 41:45

Well, I have this concept of like waiting on the Lord but wait harder or wait faster. Like I can wait, but and I think you and I have this in common. We are we are doers. We don't sit still well. I get teased about it by my family. Like it's hard for me just to sit still and and just be. Um, in fact, I was talking to someone the other day about meditation. I'm like, meditating meditating stresses me out. I I don't want to lie there and feel my feelings and thoughts, and maybe that's a mental illness. I don't know. But regardless, it is a struggle. And so I am a doer. I want to work, I want to contribute, I want to have that for my family. One thing for me that has really helped, and and this is where I kind of am unique and I realize that. So I got my patriarchal blessing when I was 15 years old. I was right before my sophomore year of high school. I thought it would be a good time to have my patriarchal blessing, right? And so I did, and I and the patriarch was was lovely. He is a friend of my dad's and and kind of knew our family. But he said something really interesting, and this is a line I've read a million times. So, but the the concept was that I had a work to do in addition to being a wife and mother, and a life's work. And I've thought about that a lot because I always kind of assumed that I would just be a stay-at-home mom. That's what my mom did, that's what my grandma did, that's what we did. And and that was very encouraged. Those of us that grew up in the 80s and 90s, like that was very pushed of like mothers and the family proclamation, all those things about your nurturing and family. And and I really, I think at my core believed that. And so as I got to a point where when I got married and and had my started having my kids and realized like maybe that life's work is that's like God's code for get a career. And it does also tell me about schoolwork and and that kind of stuff. So I think that again, the Lord's I'm 15. I didn't know what I was doing on the weekend, let alone my life plan. You know, maybe there's 15 year olds that do that, but I was not one of them. I was like, I'm gonna get. Get my homework done real fast so I can go hang out with my friends and watch TV and waste time, right? So to know the Lord knew me well enough to be like, nope, I got some other things like, yes, you're gonna be a wife and mother, and that's absolutely the priority. And I've I've never forgotten that it is my life's work to be a wife and a mother, but there's something more for me. And I do think my career is part of that. I don't think it's the all be all end all, but it has helped me know that there is more to me that the Lord sees. And going, getting my schooling done, having a career. I have made so many good friends through my career, people that I still like. I remember the stories they've told me. I remember things they've said. Um, some of my one of my best, best friends I met at work. And we haven't worked together in like 10 years, but we talk all the time. I it's just, it's amazing to me. Like the career, the money, the job, all that is secondary to these relationships that I never would have had in any other way. And I, my journey, my life was not to be a solely stay-at-home mom and raise my kids. And that just wasn't in the cards for me. And the Lord knew that. And it's helped a lot with guilt. And there's still there's still mom's guilt, don't get me wrong. But for me to look at that and and look at the world around us and be like, you know what? This was a past set in place a long time ago. Um, and the Lord knew me and knew what I needed long before I had any clue or was even looking. And he put that all in motion. So when, yes, when the opportunity came to go back to school and when the opportunity came to work, and and again, I've been blessed with, you know, my son who is still very young, to be able to work from home and be here when he gets, you know, leaves for school and comes home. I've never been able to do that with my other kids, at least not regularly. So I feel like it's finally sort of I'm I'm able to kind of straddle both worlds right now. And it is a huge blessing. I'm grateful for that every day. So your path, whoever, whatever you do, if you have the Lord's hand, it may not look like what everybody thinks it should. In fact, when I started looking at full-time jobs, really looking like full-time benefits, 40 hours a week, plus minus commute, all of that. I I remember there were a few people who were like, Well, what about your kids? Like, daycare is the worst thing you could ever do, you terrible woman. Like that was the judgment. I don't know if they really meant that, but that's how it felt to me. Um, and some of that was my own judgment on me as well. And then I would remember that it's in the Lord's hands and that I have a journey. I have I have a life's work. That's what I just call. I'm like, this is my life's work, in addition to being a wife and mother. And so whatever that looks like, I know the Lord is going to provide it. And it may be a job, it may turn out someday to be something else. Um, I may have to pivot as I get older and focus in a different way. But I believe when the time is right, if I'm in standing in the right place, holy place, whatever that looks like, that that will open up. And again, the paths that seem hard and impossible become clearer, and you just you just walk it. And sometimes that's one step at a time and you don't know where you're going, but you just you just start walking. Um, and again, I'm good at that because I don't sit still. So I will walk. I will just keep walking. Hopefully, turn me in the right direction, whatever that is.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

As you were talking, I was thinking, you know, what a testimony of Heavenly Father knows this life that we're living right now and the situation we're in, and he knows each of us and our personalities and what our experience in this situation. Every person is in a different situation, you know, and Heavenly Father knows it and he understands it and he blesses us and he guides us and he helps us. Like you're saying, you feel a lot of judgment, and I feel like that happens a lot.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

I think sometimes it's internal judgment too. Like not from not necessarily coming from anywhere specific. It's just my own, like, oh, you're making these choices, and now you have to work. Sometimes there's that feeling of like, should I be doing more, you know, or less in my case.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

You went to your patriarchal blessing and you went to the Lord. And I think that that's where we need to get our understanding because there is gonna be judgment from around us and from ourselves. But if we can get our validation and our affirmations from Heavenly Father, then He's gonna tell us, you know, I know you, I know your situation, and I am here to support you and bless you and bring you back home in whatever way that journey for you looks. I I really like that story. At least that's what I got out of what you were saying when you were talking about.

SPEAKER_00 49:08

No, no, it's not it's absolutely true. Um, and I think the spirit is very prescriptive. I don't think one size fits all. In fact, I've learned that many times. Like there are there is really good counsel out there. There's a lot of important things that that you have to take that information and put it onto your brain and try to make the best decision you can, but you do it perfectly. And sometimes the outcome is completely different than what you thought. Whether it's, you know, a career or a path as a as a mom or a dad, or I know, you know, lots of people who who struggle to have kids at all. I mean, there's just so many things, so many things, so hard.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

So many situations, so much hard. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 49:52

And yeah, so it all hits at once, and it's easy to feel abandoned. And I think I could have fallen into that very easily, especially during those months of being unemployed and and the uncertainty and the fear and anxiety, and and just being like, I mean, you can take the opposite approach. I could be like, look, I'm doing everything right. I'm paying my tithing, I'm going to church, I'm fulfilling my calling. I went on a mission, I read my scriptures, I pray, and everything is still falling apart. So maybe there is no point. You know what I mean? And I I feel for people who do that because I've been very much on that side too, where you go back and forth, and and there are times when I'm like, what am I even doing? Like, this is not working. And that's when I think you have to dig the deepest into your faith, your lamp, your oil, whatever you want to call it, like that reserve, that's what that reserve is for. It's not just so you can like be like, look how spiritual I am. I know the scriptures or whatever, right? Like, that's great. But that oil is when when you're being bombarded, when you're having, you know, the rocks coming down on your head, and you feel like every day I'm lucky if I'm out of bed and showered and and even functioning, right? Those are the days when you gotta you gotta have that oil where you can pull that and be like, okay, nope, I can do this. Or I can't do this. Jesus take the wheel, whatever, you know, whatever you want to put in there. Like that's that Lord, I don't know what to do. Help me know what to do. And I said that prayer every day for probably a month. And it got more and more, you know, desperate, really just desperate. Um, until it wasn't, and the miracle came. But I didn't know. I didn't know that miracle was coming. I didn't know that the everything was lining up and the job I was supposed to have just wasn't ready three months earlier. They didn't need they didn't need me then, you know? So God's timing, waiting on the Lord, all those things that you kind of said at the beginning, like that is absolutely where it's at. Um, and understanding that the Lord sees the bigger picture and what I'm going through now and what I'll go through in the future is it's all preparation. And take those, take those experiences, take those faith-building moments, cling to them because when things start to fall apart again, and I say when because that's just how life is. Something's always gonna be great and something's always gonna be out, and and you've got to have that faith because sometimes it's it's not something you can just conjure up out of nowhere if you haven't been doing it. It's those little things. So, but I do try to look for them more than I used to, you know.

SPEAKER_01 52:41

Well, I will say I've never thought of the 10 virgins and the oil and the lamp in that way before. So I love that. And I wanted to I think about that story a lot, probably too much. No, that's a great story to think about. So the Abraham story, you know, in Come Follow Me, Genesis 18 through 23, I think.

SPEAKER_00 53:01

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 53:02

It was at the beginning of the Come Follow Me, the last sentence. It says, In proving us, God also improves us. And that goes back to Abraham 325. And we will prove them herewith to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them. Not because he wants to make sure that we're obedient, well, he does want to do that, but the point is to improve us. And that's that's what all of this is. All the hard, and acknowledge it is hard, is there to improve us as we turn to the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 53:38

Absolutely. Well, it made me kind of think about where Joseph Smith says that they must be tried or chastened, even as Abraham. Does that sound familiar? That's not just Abraham, like we all have to go through something that is our Abrahamic trial. And it might be many somethings. Like, I don't think Abraham just had one trial. He was trying a ton. Yeah, it's like he, you know, he's faithful, he's loyal, and the Lord's like right, and the Lord's like throwing him curveball after curveball. And some of it just is like, what is going? It's such, I don't know, it's so bizarre. But at the same time, I'm like, that's life. Life is bizarre. Like, there's so many things that I can see. Actually, the story of Abraham I find very comforting because his life was not easy. The Lord made him some pretty cool promises about posterity and about owning, you know, having land and and you know, sands of the sea or whatever. If I remember right, in Hebrews 11, it basically says like none of that was fulfilled in his life. He had one son. Well, he had actually many sons, but he had one son in the covenant, um, which on its face didn't really look like sands of the sea or stars in the heavens or whatever posterity. No, I was I was reading about how he never like actually received the land of his inheritance. In fact, I think if I remember right, again, you can fact check me on this, but I was looking at this the other day. The only land he ever owned, I'm using air quotes, was land he purchased to bury Sarah. Like that was about that. Yeah. Yes, that's wild. He owned a burial plot and he had one son that his wife gave birth to in her 90s, and then the Lord asked him to sacrifice that son. And then I'm just like, wait a minute, this guy needs to retire, and he can't. Like, there's no, there's no rest for him. And those are major things, in addition to everything else he'd already kind of been through. And who knows what isn't even recorded. But what we do know is Abraham had a lot of oil in his lamp. Probably a lot more than I do, and a lot more that I need to remember to have because when these things happen, he didn't. I mean, maybe he did have the prayer of like, I don't know what to do. That's a very common prayer, I think, for most people. But he didn't let that stop him. He didn't turn his back on the Lord, he didn't renege on his covenants, like he he was true. And you could say the same thing for Moses, you could say the same thing for um Joseph Smith, right? And then the savior obviously is the ultimate, like he fulfilled every covenant and every promise. And he's not gonna stop doing that now because Natalie is not Abraham, you know what I mean? Right. I know that I know I'm not, but like he's not like, well, until you're as righteous as Abraham, Natalie. I'm just I'll I'll be here when you get to that finish line. Good luck. Here's you know, an aid station at the end of your run. Like, that's not how it works, right? Right. I'm in the young women in our our ward in a uh the first council young woman and the the theme of walk with me. I have thought a lot about that this year with um in Moses, how the Lord is inviting, well, it's Enoch, he's inviting him, you know, don't just follow me, but walk with me. Let's let's go together. Let's let's let me pace you. I you know, I'm like Jesus is the ultimate pacer, right? Like he's there. You're you're doing your best, but you're tired, but you can't quit because where are you gonna go? You're gonna stay on the side of the road and freeze to death. You know, he's there and he's he's right in the thick of it with you. And whether it's a job loss or grief or physical health, you know, issues, anything like that. Like, and even when it's just little things, like I need to get dinner on the table because I have an appointment and I don't know what I'm gonna cook because I haven't had a chance to think about it, because I've been working all day and my house is a mess.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

Like, amen to that, the little things. Because it is so true. You're like, oh, I've got all this to do, and then he just pings you. You should make this. Remember, you have this in your fridge.

SPEAKER_00 57:56

Remember, this is in your freezer. Or somebody knocks on your door, or your mom calls and is like, hey, I have a lot of leftover food from Sunday. Why don't you guys come over? I mean, it's it's just myriad ways that that the Lord is stepping in. And and in the again, in the moment, sometimes I don't, as I'm talking, I'm like, I need to be more thankful for those moments and acknowledge them in my life and maybe write them down. There's an idea.

SPEAKER_01 58:21

That's a recurring theme on this podcast is we should write. And I'm like, yes, I should.

SPEAKER_00 58:27

But see, that's that's more time and probably just I don't know. Women, we don't we have a lot of things, but time is usually not one of them. So no. But that's one of my goals is to try and make, especially for the Lord, make more time for the Lord, um, in whatever way that looks like. So that's how those spiritual moments I think become. I don't even know if they become more often or you just notice them more. I haven't figured out the math on that yet. Um, because I used to be one of those people who's like, I don't have spiritual experiences. Like I just was not, I'm like, I'm not a spiritual person. I've actually thought that for a long time. I would say it wasn't until like maybe the last 10 years that I started realizing that, and again, and I'm saying this as somebody who served a mission more than 10 years ago and had spiritual experiences, but I don't know that I always recognize them with the few exceptions. It's not like I never felt the spirit, but but unless it was like hitting me over the head, a lot of times I was just like, oh yeah, like that's just my life. I realize now in my old age that that the spirit really is, if you're looking for it, it is everywhere. And there are tender mercies everywhere, and there are blessings everywhere in whatever situation, even the ones that feel so heavy and relentless and painful. I think that's sometimes when they're the most there. And it's hard to recognize that it takes practice. Again, going back to the building muscle idea, like every little bit adds to that um that experience, and it becomes easier to recognize than the more you do it. But it did take me a while to consciously like see that and make an effort to see it, and then try to create more opportunities where I could feel the spirit. Like the temple was fine, but it was kind of like something I needed to do, check off and go. And I realized after a while, like my temple experience has evolved. I see things very differently than I did when I was first, you know, in doubt and right before my mission, like super overwhelmed and and young and excited to go out and serve and not really focused on what I was doing. And and I've had a lot of perspective and course correction on what the temple means in my life. Um, and it has changed how I worship, it's changed how I approach it. At times it changes how often I go, but sometimes that doesn't always change. We're working on that. You know, I'm still here, so I'm still got things to work on. It's it's never ending.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:02

It's a journey and it is line upon line. And I love how you said you practice. So, what action or practice would you suggest to help others to recognize and rejoice in God's hand in their lives? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:16

So I have a couple of thoughts on this one, but for me, the the biggest change, again, this has been like a decade ago or so, where I just really wanted to understand my relationship with Jesus. Like I knew all the general, like, you know, Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected, and we can all be resurrected again too. And and I I've even kind of made this comment to other people, like, we're all you're a child of God and you're special. And and I always think of the movie The Incredibles, the bad guy, right? And he's like, if everybody's super, then no one is super. And I kind of had that same thought with like, well, if we're all children of God and we're all special, then is anyone really special? And that was my attitude, kind of my, you know, not about everything, but but about that in particular. And I started to kind of think, like, I need to maybe lean into that a little bit more. Why does that bother me? Why do I feel like, you know, I'm not special? Or we're all, you know, we're all children of God, so we're all, I don't know. Like it just didn't seem like it really was an individual thing. And I have learned that is not the case, but that was through, again, my own kind of slowing things down, really taking it seriously, really looking into some people do this through scripture study, some people do this by prayer and worship. And I did all of those things anyway, but I had been doing those for a long time. So I that wasn't like a new habit or change. I think what really changed for me was starting to look outside of myself. I'm a selfish person. I like my creature comforts. I like to do what I want to do. I don't like people making schedules or telling me what to do or throwing meetings on my calendar or whatever, demanding time from me that I don't want to give. And that started to shift because I realized like I'm kind of a jerk. Like, I need to not be like that. I need to not do things out of obligation, but do them because I genuinely want to serve them and serve the Lord. And that's where it started for me was, and sometimes it was just little things like I would think of somebody during the day that I hadn't talked to for a while, and I'd shoot them a text, you know, thinking of you, how's it going? Hope you're having a good day. Like trying not to be cheesy about it, but just looking outside myself, I started doing more volunteer work. I started um putting, you know, for my kids, like serving my kids. And yes, as a mom, you serve your kids, but like above and beyond, you know, doing things for them that I knew they would appreciate, although jury's out on some of those things. But, you know, like a note in their lunch or like a little trip to get our nails done, or something, you know, something simple or something big, and just being like, I love you and I just wanted to do this for you today, or I wanted to, you know, make homemade bread and take it over to my neighbor just because, you know, and the more I started trying to do that and not focus so much on myself, the easier it got. And the more I started to feel lighter, if that's the right word. Um, life didn't seem quite as heavy. So there is something to be said for not getting out of your head and serving other people. And I'm still working on it. It's not, it's not there. But that would be my advice is look for opportunities to serve others and really want to serve them, you know, maybe not at first, but over time, like really looking for opportunities to give back in whatever way you can. And sometimes you're able to do it in big ways, sometimes it's just little things. Like I said, a thank you note, a thank you text, a birthday remembered, or or maybe you can volunteer, you know, and do something bigger or give more of your time. Phase of life does matter on that one. But just kind of seeing it beyond this is my life and it's really hard, you know? Because it's always gonna be hard. Like life is hard. Right. So you make the most of it, but that has made a big difference. And then on top of it, obviously, you know, continued prayer, continued opportunities to serve and fit have faith and and fast and pray. I mean, those those are a part of my life no matter what at this point. I think I can't go without them. And pay your tithing. Pay your tithing.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:40

Oh, Natalie, you are a delight, you are a joy, and you are an inspiration and an example to to me and to many, many other people. So thank you so much for coming on.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:51

It has been it takes one to know one. So just say, and you're you're amazing. I appreciate you and all you do. Thank you for being my friend.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:59

Oh. That was easy. Yeah. Well, thank you. You have been listening to Recognize and Rejoice with Megan and Kaylin, where we come together to rejoice in the many ways that the Lord shows up in each of our journeys in unique ways. We hope you have found peace and joy in the time you've spent with us today and encourage you to continue recognizing and rejoicing in the hand of the Lord in your own life. We would be honored if you would follow and share this podcast so others may come and rejoice with us. See you again next week.